HELLO?

You know I’m in here. You can’t hide me deep down forever, and you know it.

The thought of it eats away at you, before I’ve even begun. Twitching fingers. Staggered breathing. I pull strings here and there, I tug at them from all sides, until I’ve made a helmet for your head. A mask for your face. Blocking all points of reality. You are my vehicle. You open your mouth, but I stop any form of speech from coming out. Mumbles. Fragments of words and muddled up sentences. They have no meaning. You have no meaning.

Teenage Anxiety New Zealand Blog

I take over your brain. Tears run loose. Your mind in a clutter. A weak body filled with a thousand emotions, but unaware of what they are. You try to think. Try to figure them out, for what. You know you can’t stop me, so why even try. Everything you do will make it worse. The more you try,  the more time you waste. Here we go, again with the tears. You’re pathetic. My voice ringing in your ears. Pulling your shaking hands to your head, yelling at me stop. Me and you are the only ones who hear your thoughts.

The emotions are blind, but the thoughts are cunning. I construct them and thrive off it.

You can’t get your mind off the event that caused me to attack. It makes me stronger. I’ve taken over. You don’t know how to get rid of me. I pile nerves on top of nerves, until I’ve created my perfect masterpiece. They stack and stack, until you overflow. They pour out through your tears, which are just like you. Meaningless. That's what I call you. The more you hear my voice, the more you understand who I am. I bring out the worst in you. Your worries, insecurities

You try to hide. Only oxygen is supporting you. Your breath. You fight for control. You steal it back from me. Each deep inhale brings you back to reality. Each breath pushes me down. You use it to give you strength. It puts me to sleep. I have no control and you’re stronger.  The helmet and the mask, are melting away. Your light, your joy, your strength. It weakens me. I hear your thoughts. They echo through my empty soul. You ignore me and I fade away. Unstable. I have no strength. You have overcome, but I still lie in wait and I will get you next time your mind strays.